Lather, Rinse, Repeat...

May 182010

I think it’s pretty safe to say that I have become a broken record.

I’ve been struggling…honestly, part of me can’t say it’s been a struggle, because in many ways it seems like I haven’t even be trying.

The end goal is in the back of my mind…it’s in the back of my mind when I don’t go to the gym…it’s in the back of my mind when I stuff myself during the day out of boredom…it’s in the back of my mind when I basically do everything that I know I shouldn’t be doing right now.

Ugh.

I’ve made big claims about getting back on track, hitting the reset button, working out everyday, and all that jazz…but honestly, I’m going nowhere fast.

You’ve all been super encouraging and completely awesome, but I haven’t taken up any of your advice, I haven’t responded to your offers of help, I have been bad about emails, I have been bad about twitter.  I’m sorry for all of that.  I love and appreciate all of you and everything you have done for me…I just, don’t know :(

And yeah, I mean, I HAVE been busy.  Work, school and the like, but those issues were always there and I still managed to at least kick some ass, but now I’ve let it all overwhelm me.

I want to scream, but more than that I want to get on track.  I want to stop making empty promises and actually do this thing.  I want to learn from my failures and move on, and not allow them to overwhelm me. 

I wish I could say that this post would serve as a catalyst to that change, but honestly, the post few posts were suppose to serve as that catalyst.  So yeah, there’s that.

Oh yeah, there is supposed to be a Status Report this week, but honestly, I don’t want to know.

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There is SOME good to report though…I turned 26 last Friday, and I had a really nice birthday.  I hung out with some friends, saw Iron Man 2, and got a huge Best Buy giftcard which went towards the purchase of a Xbox 360 and Final Fantasy XIII. WooT!

I’m also fully intending on keeping with the Maryland Half Marathon this weekend.  My motivation may be in the shitter, but I have (and never had) any intention of calling it quits on that.

Sorry for the rambling.  Hope you have a good day.

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And by the way, this post in entirely thanks to MrsFatass…if it wasn’t for her I would have probably stayed under my rock until I had something better to report.  Thank you for making me put myself out there :)

Still alive...

May 072010

I’m still alive…

…and still trying to get back on track.

It’s been a few days, and I apologize for that.  It’s not that I’m deliberately trying to avoid the blog.  It’s more a combination of being busy with work, being busy with schoolwork (apparently self paced means I still have to do the work at some point, DAMMIT!), and not knowing what to talk about, at least in a coherant way (bullet points wouldn’t be much help either).

So yeah, there is that.  I’m working out, and the diet is slightly better.  I’m not going to go and say I’m back yet, but I’m getting there.  Your regularly scheduled Steve will be back soon :)

In the meantime, how in the hell are ya?!

And thank you for the encouragement, advice, etc…you gave with the weigh in post.  I’ve said it before, but I can never say it enough, you guys rock! :)

Peace!

A wee bit blah...

Apr 232010

So since Wednesday, I have been working from home…

…BOO!

I know it’s a hell of a thing to complain about, since a lot of people would love the opportunity, but I am less than enthused.  The office can be annoying at times, but I like the structure. I’m less tempted to give into food and more motivated to workout, since I can do it on my lunch break.

At home, it seems like all of that goes out the window.  I don’t HAVE to take a lunch break, and I have access to a full kitchen of crap. 

I signed on the be a teleworker last year, and after a few weeks I decided I really didn’t like being at home all the time, so I started going back into the office.  However, due to issues with my director and my supervisor, I needed to start working at home, full time, immediately.  I asked if I could just go back to being an office worker, but my supervisor wants me to hold off for the time being.

I know it sounds wierd, and kind of stupid, but hey, it is what it is :/

The past few days have been kind of rough, but I’m going to try to make the best of it, and trying to make it work.  It’s just going to make some more motivation and determination on my part.  With that said, part of me is thinking Yeah, I’m screwed, while another part of me is saying Yeah, you got this!

Hopefully it’s the latter.

One plus though, I found 30rock on Netflix and have added the series to my instant queue.  I am already through Seasons 1 and 2. :-P

Do any of you work from home?  How do you manage to keep the diet and exercise going without the structure?

In other news, its FRIDAY!  I hope you all have a good weekend!

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