When I first started this journey, I really thought I would be Superman by now.
I thought I’d have lost almost all of the weight, built on a lot of muscle, become a superathlete, and so much more…
Early on in this journey, I had caught the running bug, and I set my sights on the Baltimore Marathon in October. A few months back, thinking I was unstoppable, I had also registered for the Marine Corps Marathon (which I wasn’t going to really speak about until I saw how I did in Baltimore).
Yesterday, I decided to take a shot of reality, and decided that I will not be running any marathons this year.
Basically, I’m not ready. I have done very little by way of training, I am not where I should be physically/mentally/etc…
I am deferring my Baltimore registration until 2011, and I have downgraded my Marine Corps registration to the 10k. I wanted to at least run something, and I have a much better opportunity to train for a 10k by the end of October.
I’m disappointed and frustrated in myself. I let my training and my journey fall to the wayside. I never went in thinking I’d halfass it, but I don’t think I really grasped how big of a challenge this would be either.
The Marathon will always be there though, and I will run it. It’s going to take a lot of work, but I will have this.
I will be a Marathoner.
Yes, you WILL! I admire your commitment to keep on keeping on by changing your Marine Corps plans to run the 10K. You’re still going to have an awesome day and you will be so inspired to get to the full next year. I was training for a marathon in 2003 and decided not to do it 2 weeks before the race because I was so afraid of failing. I ended up not running for 5 years and totally had to begin again with weight loss and running last year. You’re staying in the game and you’re going to be fine! Enjoy Marine Corps! That’s a dream of mine!
What I’ve been hearing a lot of in your posts recently is shame. As in Should Have Already Mastered Everything. I hate to be the random stranger who breaks it to you, but you aren’t perfect. Pick yourself up, dust yourself on, do the best you can manage, rinse, repeat.
Maybe I should be telling myself these things today…
Alissa´s last blog ..Guest Post
I really, really like Alissa’s comment.
The fact is – you know that you’re not ready for the marathon. It’s a HUGE commitment, and knowing yourself well enough to know you haven’t respected the challenge is a big step.
You will do the marathon. You will run that full 26.2 miles. And when you do – you will truly, truly appreciate the amazement of it.
Destination:Athlete´s last blog ..self-sabotage
I love the positive attitude in your last paragraph. In other words, you’ll still be Superman, but it’s superhero-dom deferred, by a little bit. Look forward to reading about your continued success. Good luck, Steve.
rob´s last blog ..The “no-plan” plan
OK, so you stumbled, but you know what? You’ve gotten up each time. And you’re still planning on running something, which is a lot more than most people will EVER do. You still have goals, you’re still doing posts, your mind is still here, you can still do this. Sorry, that’s all the Jillian I can muster up right now. But I DID just do my comeback post….so help me help you and then help me help me, we can do this! Again! It’s like last year all over again!
(btw, how sad I’m not even sure if I typed my “URL” right up there? It’s been way too long!)
Craig´s last blog ..How To Get Fat
BTW, how sad is that sad superman pic? what a debbie downer moment!
NO NEED TO FEEL BAD OR SHAMEFUL OR LESS THAN Steve.
the marathon will always be there and life and living and crap simply derailed you THIS time.
for me it has always been the times Ive veered from my path (fitness and life) that Ive learned the most as Ive clawed my way back on.
xo xo
MizFit´s last blog ..Heartrate monitors & reader email backlog
You ARE a marathoner. You got this. And any time you need a KaPOW you let me know. And I’ll let you know when I do, too. Deal?
Don’t hang your head too low. It’s time to move on and completely hit the restart button. Might I even suggest changing the name of your site? I know, I know, money is tied up with the domain, but just a thought. 265 locked you into a number, and you’re not a number and when you lose weight it won’t be about the number, and when you run a marathon it won’t be about the finishing time.
David’s got a pretty good idea there! Not locking yourself in to this idea of a specific weight could certainly help.
Either way, you WILL be a marathoner! I think putting it off for now was definitely the right decision to make. It will always be there. For the time being, pick yourself back up, remind yourself why the hell you’re doing this in the first place, and make it happen. You’ve done it before, and you CAN and WILL do it again.
Brandon´s last blog ..The “What About Bob” Guide to Health & Fitness
Nobody is perfect. There are always going to be ups and downs but the awesome thing is that you aren’t giving up. You’re realizing that you’re just human and a 10k is still an awesome feat. It’s more than I’ve ever even thought of doing. I too had some lofty goals at the beginning but I realized that life happens sometimes and I just have to keep going and keep trying. That’s all we can do.
Jenn from agirlwholovescupcakes´s last blog ..Meatless Monday
Hey Steve,
Do you actually ENJOY running? Have you found that one thing that really makes you happy when it comes to exercise? For some it’s running, for others it’s weight lifting (that’s me), for you it might be karate or ultimate frisbee or swimming or whatever.
I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t force yourself to run a marathon unless you really want to. There are 1000′s of other ways to get in incredible shape without running for five hours a day.
Lastly, shoot me an email when you get a chance, I got a present for ya.
Keep pushing dude.
-Steve
Steve´s last blog ..The Rebel Fitness Guide is NOW AVAILABLE!
Steve, of course you can do it!
Its not failure to recognize you need more training time. Its not even a failure if you decide running is not for you and you want to do a century ride or climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Its your life and you reserve the right to change course whenever you want!
What days are you going to run when to be prepared the 10k in 2010? What days are you going to run to get yourself prepared for the 2011 Marathon?
Stick to it. Of course, there will be hiccups in the road that will bump you off course, Still, if you a map, it will make it easier.
Why don’t you post your 10k running plan for October? Or have you done that already? Did I miss it?
Build your plan out now. Make your Running/Fitness Plan an immutable force in your life.
Consistency is key!
Scott´s last blog ..Immensely Satisfying
First time commenter. Found your blog after you followed me on Twitter (I followed back by the way and have subscribed to your feed).
I think your first sentence might tell us something in that we can’t expect to change, reach our ideal weight, or become a marathon runner overnight. I’m not saying you are but it takes time, training, and commitment. I’m not a runner but I the same principles apply to me as a cyclist and for my weight loss goals.
Many of the others have made great suggestions like getting a training plan, changing the name of your blog, and maybe finding another sport if you don’t like running. Mine is cycling and I love it.
If you’ve ever wanted to give cycling a try I just released a free ebook on How To Start Road Cycling. That’s not meant to be a shameless plug but wanted you to know it was there if you were considering something other than running.
Bryan´s last blog ..What Not To Do When The Weight Scale Doesn’t Move
*HUGS* I am so right there with you right now…except superwoman, and well, you get it…I think you made a very wise choice. Now, smile, and move on with your awesome self
Katdoesdiets´s last blog ..Half Marathon Decision Time
Steve, some days I’m motivated by everything I read or see – those are the easy days.
But on many other days – my dark days – when realities of life hands me a big, stinky bag of crap, the only thing that I can latch onto are two quotes by two of my favorite men:
“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never — in nothing, great or small, large or petty — never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
- Sir Winston Churchill
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
- Theodore Roosevelt
Fight the good fight, Superman.
I understand being frustrated, but the fact that you’re not just giving up says a lot. You will do this!
hang in there. at least you’re back and not throwing your hands up. THAT would be sadder.
Ok.. you know what.. IT’S OK. LIFE happens.. don’t beat yourself up.. everything happens for a reason… lay your cape down and rebuild.. one step at a time.. and you will rock out tht 10K
BK´s last blog ..Weigh In – Punk My Plateau Challenge
Dude…that’s an awesome goal to have but geez have you thought about having some goals leading up to a marathon. I like reading your blog but you need to decide to change your habits and norms. I started at 285 and today I am around 245. I need to still lose more. I didn’t go on a diet…I made a shift in what I eat. Going on a diet means that one day you may go off the diet. When we get pizza I eat 2 pieces no more. I stopped drinking all sodas(diet too) and now only drink water. I will get a coke on occasion. I do not deny but I do moderate. I track everything so I know what causes my body to gain and what helps me lose and because of that I find that my choices of what I eat are much easier ones. If you really like to use running as the way your going to get fit work on some 5k’s and become good at that. Then go to a 10k, half marathon, etc. Just because the do a marathon on the “Biggest Loser” doesn’t mean you have to. If you are like the old me then you are doing all this to lose weight. That is the wrong attitude…change your attitude and decide you will train for performance and compete against yourself…the weight will fall off.
Well I feel like a dolt for not knowing you did a half marathon but in my defense I just started following your blog. I know I slacked off after running my first Tri (I did a sprint tri which is nowhere near as intense as a half marathon I give you props for doing that) and have had to re-motivate my training by signing up for more events (just finished a 5k and I am doing the bike part of a tri with some friends). I still think that my weight loss comes from a shift in attitude toward food and exercise. Now I don’t feel guilty when I go off track. I just know what I have to do to counteract it. I think you signing up for the 10k is great training for the marathon…don’t stop at one 10k though sign up for a bunch of different races and use them as training. Just being on dailymile.com I have noticed a lot of runners do this to keep them on track.
Chris (or @DeNifty)´s last blog ..Ballantyne Triathlon
I just came across your health and fitness blog. Your article about wanting to run two marathons was especially interesting. I especially liked your comments about how challenging this feat would be and how you still strive to achieve this goal in the future. I am adding you to my favorites. We’re in the same industry, the business of encouraging health and fitness. We market a product called The AbStand: http://www.theabstand.net. We would love for you and your readers to check out our ab workout product. Any feedback would be appreciated as well. Thanks!
Good call I reckon. I think you need to find your passion.
AndrewENZ´s last blog ..A good year so far